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Stan
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 Tom: G#m
 
 G#m           Emaj7               F#        B      B/A#   G#m
 My tea s gone cold, I m wondering why I got out of bed at all
 G#m         Emaj7             F#         B       B/A#   G#m
 The morning rain clouds up my window and I can t see at all
 G#m       Emaj7           F#                    B       B/A#  G#m
 And even if I could, it d all be gray, but your picture on my wall
    Emaj7                Emaj7/F          Emaj7
 It reminds me that it s not so bad, it s not so bad
 G#m           Emaj7               F#        B      B/A#   G#m
 My tea s gone cold, I m wondering why I got out of bed at all
 G#m         Emaj7             F#         B       B/A#   G#m
 The morning rain clouds up my window and I can t see at all
 G#m       Emaj7           F#                    B       B/A#  G#m
 And even if I could, it d all be gray, but your picture on my wall
    Emaj7                Emaj7/F          Emaj7
 It reminds me that it s not so bad, it s not so bad
 
 Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain t callin 
 I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
 I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not have got  em
 It probably was a problem at the post office or somethin 
 Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot  em
 But anyways, fuck it, what s been up man, how s your daughter? 
 My girlfriend s pregnant too, I m out to be a father
 If I have a daughter, guess what I m-a call her? I m-a name her Bonnie
 I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I m sorry
 I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn t want him
 I know you probably hear this everyday, but I m your biggest fan
 I even got the underground shit that you did with Scam
 I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
 I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was fat
 Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat
 Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
 
 G#m           Emaj7               F#        B      B/A#   G#m
 My tea s gone cold, I m wondering why I got out of bed at all
 G#m         Emaj7             F#         B       B/A#   G#m
 The morning rain clouds up my window and I can t see at all
 G#m       Emaj7           F#                    B       B/A#  G#m
 And even if I could, it d all be gray, but your picture on my wall
    Emaj7                Emaj7/F          Emaj7
 It reminds me that it s not so bad, it s not so bad
 
 Dear Slim, you still ain t called or wrote, I hope you have the chance
 I ain t mad, I just think it s fucked up you don t answer fans
 If you didn t want to talk to me outside the concert you didn t have to
 But you could have signed an autograph for Matthew
 That s my little brother, man. He s only six years old
 We waited in the blistering cold for you for four hours and you just said no.
 That s pretty shitty man, you re like his fuckin  idol
 He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
 I ain t that mad, though I just don t like bein  lied to
 Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you you would write back
 See, I m just like you in a way, I never knew my father neither
 He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
 I can relate to what you re sayin  in your songs
 So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put  em on
 Cause I don t really got shit else, so that shit helps when I m depressed
 I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest
 
 Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
 It s like adrenaline. The pain is such a sudden rush for me
 See, everything you say is real, and I respect you  cause you tell it
 My girlfriend s jealous  cause I talk about you 24/7
 But she don t know you like I know you, Slim... no one does
 She don t know what it was like for people like us growing up
 You ve gotta call me man. I ll be the biggest fan you ll ever lose
 Sincerely yours, Stan. PS: We should be together, too
 
 G#m           Emaj7               F#        B      B/A#   G#m
 My tea s gone cold, I m wondering why I got out of bed at all
 G#m         Emaj7             F#         B       B/A#   G#m
 The morning rain clouds up my window and I can t see at all
 G#m       Emaj7           F#                    B       B/A#  G#m
 And even if I could, it d all be gray, but your picture on my wall
    Emaj7                Emaj7/F          Emaj7
 It reminds me that it s not so bad, it s not so bad
 
 Dear Mr. "I m too good to call or write my fans"
 This ll be the last package I ever send your ass
 It s been six months and still no word. I don t deserve it
 I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on  em perfect
 So this is my cassette I m sending you. I hope you hear it
 I m in the car right now. I m doing 90 on the freeway
 Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive? 
 You know the song by Phil Collins in "The Air in The Night"?
 
 About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning? 
 But they didn t? Then Phil saw it all then at his show he found him? 
 That s kinda how this is. You could have rescued me from drowning
 Now it s too late. I m on a thousand downers now... I m drowsy
 And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
 I hope you know I ripped all o  your pictures off the wall
 I love you Slim. We could have been together. Think about it
 You ruined it now, I hope you can t sleep and you dream about it
 And when you dream, I hope you can t sleep and you scream about it
 I hope your conscience eats at you and you can t breathe without me
 See Slim, {screaming} shut up bitch, I m trying to talk
 Hey Slim, that s my girlfriend screaming in the trunk
 But I didn t slit her throat; I just tied her up. See I ain t like you
 Cause if she suffocates, she ll suffer more, and then she ll die, too
 Well, gotta go, I m almost at the bridge now
 Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out? 
 
 Bridge:
     Emaj7    Emaj7/F  Emaj7           Emaj7  Emaj7/F    Emaj7
    (Screeching tires, crashing sounds; car splashes into the water)
 
 G#m           Emaj7               F#        B      B/A#   G#m
 My tea s gone cold, I m wondering why I got out of bed at all
 G#m         Emaj7             F#         B       B/A#   G#m
 The morning rain clouds up my window and I can t see at all
 G#m       Emaj7           F#                    B       B/A#  G#m
 And even if I could, it d all be gray, but your picture on my wall
    Emaj7                Emaj7/F          Emaj7
 It reminds me that it s not so bad, it s not so bad
 
 Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy
 You said your girlfriend s pregnant now, how far along is she? 
 Look, I m really flattered you would call your daughter that
 And here s an autograph for your brother: I wrote it on your Starter cap
 I m sorry I didn t see you at the show, I must have missed you
 Don t think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you
 But what s this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists, too? 
 I say that shit just clownin  dawg, c mon, how fucked up is you? 
 You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin 
 To help your ass from bouncin  off the walls when you be down some
 And what s this shit about us meant to be together? 
 That type of shit ll make me not want us to meet each other
 I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
 Or maybe you just need to treat her better
 I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
 Before you hurt yourself, I think that you ll be doin  just fine
 If you d relax a little. I m glad that I inspire you, but Stan
 Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a fan
 I just don t want you to do some crazy shit
 I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
 Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
 And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
 And in the car they found a tape but it didn t say who it was to
 Come to think about it... his name was S... it was you. Damn.
  
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